Chapter 10: The Pursuit of Hapenis

Another day, another round of Sim Statues. Only problem with this game though is that it's not fun- not for me and not for my Sims. I've come to the conclusion that the glitchyness might have a lot to do with having Simbots in the house, so I'm afraid it's time to say goodbye to them.



I'd been wanting to move Humperdink and family out for a while actually, but after the evil Repoman nicked Winter's statue I had to wait for an opportunity to recreate it, and thankfully that moment came soon enough.



Ahh, beautiful as ever.



With Winter's statue standing proudly in the house once again it was time for Humperdink and Co to manage their lives on their own, and move out.



Bye Abel, Evie, and Humperdink!



Bye Kaylee and Kaysar!



With the Simbot family all moved out, and the glitches apparently gone with them, I once again focused my pointy mouse cursor on Darwin and Cassidy.



Now their relationship is a tricky one... They work together, they socialise outside office hours, and Cassidy wants to jump Darwin's bones, but it just isn't happening.



I can only put it down to the fact that Cassie's Evil and Darwin is Good, and the way that Cassidy mercilessly teased Darwin throughout much of their early days can't have helped matters. When you add into that Darwin's Unflirty trait it just results in night after night of knock-backs and cold showers...



But, not one to be easily disparaged, Cassidy never gave up his hopes of, well, copping a feel. Every day after work he would invite Darwin over to the house and try and loosen his bolts with a bit of dancing.



Or make him good and compliant with the aide of beverages.



Or just lunge in with an overwhelming firecrotch kiss of seduction.



But it never had a happy ending, despite Cassidy's persistence and penchant for tight underwears.



I was pretty confused myself to be honest, because each night Cassidy invited Darwin to stay over and he always said yes and hopped into bed with Cassie, so whyyyyyyy wouldn't he just be kissed already??



Ho well, at least the 'I'm a firefighter' flirt always went down well, it's just a shame no one else did.



Speaking of firefighting, by now Cassidy had reached level 8 in the career and so was able to do some more exciting missions. With Darwin by his side as ever they battled each blaze in epic style.



I was particularly thrilled when Cassidy got to break down doors to rescue people. He's a hero and the town loves him <3



Well, maybe not everyone in the town... One night, Cassidy decided to pay a visit to his sister Leischen, but the bitch wouldn't even let him in the house! Instead she just yelled at him and he was forced to leave >: / I know they fought and things when they were kids, but still- live and let live yeah?



It's very sad really- with first Darwin rejecting him and now being snubbed by his own sister I wouldn't have blamed Cassie for feeling a bit dejected. Do the Sims in my game not see what I see? Well, actually I wouldn't want Leischen to see him in this way anyways... You can though readers ;D



After being forced away by his sister, Cassidy turned elsewhere in search of some company and ended up at Humperdink's new home where Kaylee was in the middle of freaking out as usual.



Darwin stopped by too and spent some time with the little cutie that is Evie.



But soon all eyes were on Kaylee once more as she decided to go into labour :O



You know, I definitely think I made the right decision in booting the Simbots, because no sooner had Darwin and Cassidy got into contact with them did they find themselves stuck and unable to move, no matter how much I tried to help. Darwin ended up pissing his pants in the end :(



Then everyone just stood there complaining about the smell for a while, with Kaylee forgetting that she was meant to be in the process of childbirth at the time.



But soon she got back on track and a child was born, ahhh.



After seeing Humperdink's family and how happy they were it got Cassidy thinking about his own life. As a Family Oriented Sim he wanted marriage and children and all that stuff, but so far he had found himself unable to achieve his dreams. That night, he decided it would be time for one last shot at happiness.



Come on now boys: it's sunset, Cassidy's topless- surely it's time?



OHMYFUCKINGGOD. You know I really thought that this would be it- that this would be the oh-so-romantic moment when Cassidy finally got what he wanted, but no- Darwin had to go and back out didn't he? DAMN YOU!



Aww, the hurt look on Cassidy's face says it all really doesn't it?



The following morning Cassidy took time away from his failed love-life, choosing instead to hang out with cousin Aspen Skye. Their mutual interest in each other seems only to be the fact that they're evil and they like to wander around with their tops off.



Later that day brought a welcome distraction as the fricking living room caught on fire. Luckily we have a sexy firefighter in the house eh?



Much fireproofing was needed after that.

...Maybe I'm crazy, but shouldn't all fires be fireproof anyways? I think I'd be pretty pissed if I lit my fire and burst into flames... not to mention crispy.



Anyways, the following morning- bright and early and full of hope, or perhaps delusion, Cassidy decided to give things with Darwin one last go... again.



We decided to take the slow route this time. Instead of just jumping in with crazed sugarlips, Cassidy instead took the time to seduce Darwin- to make him feel content and safe.



Then, when the time was right, Cassidy made his move.















HE SAID YES!!!!!! Wheeeeeeeeeee! *dances around room*

I was genuinely quite worried that Darwin would say no and I would have a sad and mopey hot ginger boy on my hands, but luckily things finally worked out for the best.



Yayyyyyyyyyyyy!!!



Following their engagement, Cassidy and Darwin went to the local beach to celebrate.



Of course it was time to bust out some scorching dance moves in a celebration of joy.



But apparently Darwin just can't resist trying to make my jaw drop. He rejected Cassidy midway through dancing. He rejected him! I've actually never seen Sims do that before- I didn't even know they could. Curse you Darwin, you ice maiden...



But although Darwin is still somewhat of a tease, he has softened up considerably.







As the night drew in, Cassidy and Darwin spent its final moments at the campfire waving their long skewers about the place.

Anyone who can spot the pre-emptive symbolism shown in this picture will receive a pat on the head for being a guttermind.



...What? I know it's a bit showy, but this is a big deal- Cassie and Darwin are finally getting it on!



Ahh, it's lovely, but maybe we should just leave them to it and stop being such creepers?



*creeps*



I like symbolism.



Following their consummation, I noticed something a little bit disturbing going on with Cassidy's statue- namely a case of ice sculpture crotch rot.



Bellamy's statue was also experiencing the sickness in some areas.



But Winter's statue was as silky smooth and handsome as ever it was.



o_O Is this how newly-engaged couples spend their time? I must say, this is not what I was expecting.



Ahh, that's more like it.



With Darwin now living in the Heart house, he and Cassidy soon settled down into a routine- namely one of a fifties marriage. Darwin would do all the washing and cooking, whilst Cassidy would be either watching TV or exercising. It worked for them though, and Darwin seemed to like looking after his husband-to-be.



Back at work Cassidy moved up to level 9  in the firefighting career and got to wear a slightly scary new uniform.



And later that night he celebrated his birthday and transition into an Adult.



By now Cassidy had been bringing in the bacon for a while, and after a lot of saving up I was able to finish some parts of the house- including the basement.



Yeyyyy, the statues and urns finally have a nice room to reside in.



Winter's old time machine was given a spot too, though this was strictly guarded- I don't want to imagine all the things that could go wrong by using that thing.



And, barely a few hours after moving in, the ghosts soon made themselves known as they settled into their new home. Hurrah- I haven't seen Bellamy's ghost, well, ever :D



Speaking of things I've not seen before, check out the disaster my sexy firemen had to combat. I must say though, the actual amount of exciting or even interesting missions they get to do is very teeny. It's always Small House Fire, Small House Fire. I've had a big fire once, and a couple of rabbithole tasks like this. Boo!



Still, I guess it's good in a way that the missions aren't that taxing, cause if Cassie or Darwin died on the job I'd be proper hacked off. As it stands, both boys always make it through the day, and therefore are able to go on with their lives and spend time visiting lovely people like Evie and family.



I know I said last chapter that Evie was creepish, which she still is a bit, but she's also turning out to be mega cute. I'll try to keep an eye on her in the future for all the Evie fans out there.



So, soon enough it was time for Cassidy and Darwin to get married, and although they had a number of friends who I'm sure would have loved to have spent the day with them, the two decided to go it alone.



Gotta love the goofy wedding face.







Congratulations Mr and Mr Heart!



After the wedding was over, Cassidy and Darwin Heart returned home with a lot of things on their minds. As you may know, both Cassie and Darwin are Family Oriented, so naturally following marriage their thoughts both turned to children, and short of growing a womb the only option was adoption.

The legacy rules state that adopted children don't count as part of the bloodline, which always annoyed me cause it essentially ruled out the possibility of gay heirs. However, this is a DowhatthefuckIwantacy, and I have ways of getting around the guidelines...



Oh yes, it's improbable baby time.



Now I know some of you are probably WTFing right now, so let me explain...

When a man and a man love each other very much, they look to their legacy writer to bend the rules of biology and to help them have children.



For most legacies this would be an impossible task, but for me it's very very easy. You see, this is the reason that I decided I didn't want to follow any legacy rules whatsoever this time, because I knew it would rule out all the wonderful things that are only possible when you use mods.



And so Cassidy and Darwin's wishes were granted, and it's all down to a little thing called The Woohooer by Twallan.



So, after a little bit of mod trickery on my part Darwin was suitably knocked up, but you know the one thing you should always do when you install mods is read the small print, cause sometimes things can go a little awry...



Oops!



Okay, so Cassidy being pregnant too was not exactly what I had planned, but I guess it works out okay. They are both Family Oriented Sims after all, so I'm sure they'll be happy to have two children at once.



As Cassidy settled into his pregnancy he paid a visit to the basement to tell the ghost of his mother that she was about to be a grandmother, and is it just me or is Bellamy looking a bit preggers too? :O That'd be a neat trick.



With babies on the way, Cassidy and Darwin decided to spend some time with their friends who already had children, in order to share the joyous news and hopefully get some advice.



As time went on their respective bumps grew and grew, and both men seemed very excited about the prospect of being fathers.



Oh my, the sight of Cassidy with a giant tummy really made me laugh though. He reminded me of Santa in those trousers :P



Aww, but as least Darwin still thinks he looks cute as a fat ass.



As the due date drew ever nearer, Darwin prepared for the occasion by reading pregnancy books, whereas Cassidy just preferred to maintain his physical perfection by working out.



All this exercising paid off when Cassidy reached level 10 in the firefighting career, and was rewarded by having a ceremony in his honour as he was given the key to the city.



Is there anything more mildly terrifying than seeing a Wolfie brandishing a bright yellow balloon? It's such an innocent childlike image, I don't trust it at all.



Hmm, a heavily pregnant and topless man, receiving a gift from The Mayor, whilst a pervy wolf watches from the sidelines... Sometimes I just love my game.



Oh, and apparently I love it in the wanting-to-be-there-sense too, as Sim Fury showed up to the occasion after weeks of absence.



Following the ceremony I was invited back to the Heart house, and promptly put on a display of freakery.



With freakishness as a theme, later that night Darwin and Cassidy went into labour- together as always.



First to sparkle was Cassidy.



And then came Darwin.

And then I fell off my chair.

Oh my, what happened next I was not anticipating.



Oh holy hell.



Oh boys, how are we going to handle this one?


You can find the storyboard version here if you'd like to rec.